Happiness: allow Christ to do something through me
Sr. Stella Mary Morales, OP, Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne

"What do you want? What is your goal in life?" These were some of the questions our group of young women was asked at the beginning of a discernment process. An immediate answer came to mind: I want to be happy.

I had a very good and happy life. Nothing seemed to be missing; however, I had a longing for something more, something greater. I tried many things to fill that empty space. I got more involved in the Church, did more things with my family and my friends. I was very happy for a while, but after everything was over that feeling of emptiness came back.

Maybe I just needed a career change, was my first thought. At that time, I was invited to participate in a discernment program our diocese offered (Diocese of Caguas in Puerto Rico). I felt pretty confident I was not called to Religious life, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to look inward and I could also at least say I had looked into Religious ife. It was during the first meeting that we were asked about our desires in life. I realized I wanted a constant and lasting happiness. Now the question I had to ask was where and how to find it.  I asked the Lord to open my heart to help me find the answer.

I found that my happiness was in Jesus and that He was calling me to a more intimate relationship with Him. He was calling me to Religious life. Then the big question came: which Religious Congregation? I did not know where to start in my search for a Religious Community. I visited a couple of Communities, including one that took care of the sick, but I found that was not for me. I had never felt an inclination for taking care of the sick.

Later on, I moved to North Carolina and my spiritual director suggested I visit the Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne for a retreat. Before I arrived, their vocation director sent me a book on Mother Mary Alphonsa, foundress of the Congregation. I had read many life stories, but I had never before felt the admiration I did when I read her story. Now, if God was calling me to this Community, how was I to overcome my fear of dealing with the sick. The words of St. Paul came to mind: "I am content with weakness...for when I am weak, then I am strong."

During my visit, I had the opportunity for a hands-on experience in the apostolate, and to my surprise I survived! God held me through it and I realized that if I wanted to give myself entirely to Him, I had to do His Will and trust Him.

Our full happiness is in Heaven, contemplating God, but it can start here. I no longer feel the emptiness nor long for something more. Christ is not asking so much for me to do something for Him as to allow Him to do something through me. How could I say no to Someone who loves me so much?

Please remember me in your prayers that I may always do His Will. God bless You!

Sr. Stella Mary Morales, OP